Test Number Six Are You Willing to Go All The Way? (Giving Over of The Soul/Mesirut Nefesh) - The Tests

Satan: An Autobiography - Yehuda Berg 2010

Test Number Six Are You Willing to Go All The Way? (Giving Over of The Soul/Mesirut Nefesh)
The Tests

Now, remember that I gave you fair warning. The tests keep on coming, and this one can be a real kick in the pants. It requires that you completely surrender your soul. That sounds like something I would ask you to do, right? Give your soul to me. But this is not that at all, actually. Nor is it some sort of a religious ritual. This is about you getting your life back. It’s a classic paradox. You let go completely, and get total control in return.

In order to defeat me and become my master—instead of the other way around—you must be willing to go all-out for something. I know that you’re used to serving me, and your ego. You’d do anything to save your ego, right? But now you need to be willing to do anything to save you—the real you. To become a master, you need to become a servant, because when you are operating with the consciousness of a servant, then everything the universe dishes out becomes an opportunity. That way, I have no pull, no influence, over any of your thoughts or actions. Servant consciousness is the polar opposite of victim consciousness. It’s total surrender.

Victims resist whatever happens and feel that they are being done to. Someone who surrenders says, “You know what? There is something for me to do here. Let’s see what I can find.” A person who appreciates every opportunity is never a victim, and is therefore never miserable. Total surrender equates to total happiness. Sure, I will try to convince you that life sucks and that God is out to get you, but when you don’t listen to me, you take back control.

This is where suicide bombers get it wrong. You don’t blow up a bus to get closer to God; you transform your consciousness. Just surrender to God, and I’ll be the one you’ll be leaving behind. No dynamite necessary.

But like the rest of my advice to you, it’s easier in theory than in practice. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Without these tests, there is no growth. When things don’t go your way—when pain, disease, or frustration enter the picture—you have a choice between stagnancy or growth. You can:

1. Choose to be a victim, or

2. Choose to surrender to the process.

Go ahead and scream out in frustration, “God, why are you doing this to me?” Then I’ve got you. I’ve got you operating in victim consciousness. Perfect. Servant consciousness, on the other hand, means performing the necessary spiritual work in spite of the difficulty you are facing. You do this knowing that the Creator is there, even when it seems like God has hung you out to dry. You get through this challenge by knowing you don’t have the perspective that the Creator has. You do this in spite of me.

I’ve seen it happen from time to time. You have said no to playing the role of the victim. You didn’t succumb to my influence. However, you didn’t surrender to the Creator, either. You existed in limbo, purgatory—a state of only partial surrender. You wanted to have your cake and eat it, too. But this state offers you little in the way of fulfillment or control. It isn’t until you completely let go of victimhood and enter true surrender that you win.

If you truly recognized that you don’t get anything you can’t handle, surrender would come easier. Even the worst scenarios—disease, death, and destruction—can be turned into Light. But most of the time, you don’t believe that.

If you can learn to completely let go of everything and take total responsibility, you can reach another level. Yes, there is another level beyond surrendering, and that is Becoming God.


Becoming God is a longing—a yearning—that you’ve got to possess. It is knowing that the challenges of this world are temporary, and that the best is yet to come. Pretend that you are living in a small room with little sunlight and no one with whom to talk. What would you do? What would be your first step in getting out of this situation?

Easy. Your first step would be to develop a longing for something more, something far better than the cramped, dank room that you find yourself in. Likewise, you must have a hunger for something far greater than your current, measly existence. Your life is like the tiny room that I described—in fact, it’s the tiny room that I have tried to keep you in for a long, long time. To do so, I have kept the infinitely spacious and sun-filled playground that was designed for you hidden. You must long for this place, in the same way God longs to fill your Vessel with Light. You must nurture and develop this yearning until it is all that you are. This is your first step in Becoming God. The next step on the road to Becoming God is understanding that everything belongs to God. Nothing belongs to you—not your gifts, your talents, your material possessions, not even your children.

Everything is borrowed.

As much as the Creator adores you, the Creator also has no emotional attachment to your thoughts or behaviors. Can you imagine what it means to love without end and without condition, while simultaneously feeling no attachment to the physical components which make up the material world? This is what being like God means.

Becoming God also demands that you see the Light behind everything. Do you see a system behind the trees, the animals, and all of nature? Do you see God all around you? If I am doing my job, most of the time you probably don’t. But if you can wake up and start seeing God in absolutely everything—even in situations that seem “bad” or unfortunate—then I have no hold on you whatsoever.

How are you when it comes to seeing opportunity? The life you are leading now is a profoundly unique opportunity, which won’t come around in exactly the same way ever again. Your existence as it is right now is your best shot to do the job you arrived here to do; you don’t know how your “next time” will look. Every day, every hour, every moment, is an opportunity.

And God never misses a beat. He sees every situation as a chance for spiritual expansion, an opportunity to share more Light with the universe. This is the consciousness that you, too, must bring to the Game if you are to be in perfect alignment with the Creator.

The only thing that is truly yours is your use of time. Time is the currency of life. Every moment counts, which means that how you choose to spend your time determines everything. God fully spends His time in share mode. If you are not doing the same, then you can’t become like God. I can’t make this any clearer. If you spend your moments sharing, you are behaving just like the Creator; anything else falls short of the goal.

I cause you to sink into feelings of guilt, hopelessness, helplessness, and defeat much of the time—emotions the Light of the Creator doesn’t even recognize. You are still letting me in, still letting me convince you that what you have done is written in stone, unchangeable, and that you should repent for your mistakes until the end of time.

But it’s that type of thinking that leads to not admitting your mistakes and, therefore, failing to make the necessary corrections. The moment you admit your mistakes, you allow the Light into the situation. And with the Light, everything—absolutely everything—is fixable. No matter how low I have caused you to go, you have the power to turn it around. Completely.

Joseph hit bottom. He was seduced by the wife of another man—to the point where he was naked before her—yet, in the end, he still chose the path of the Light and refused her. This was one of my more remarkable defeats, I might add. A man who was so close to darkness yet was still able to amend the situation is truly God-like. Instead of saying, “I’ve gone this far; why not finish what I have started?” he restricted his self-satisfying behavior, and became one with God.

To know that there is always a way out in any moment of darkness is to align with the Nature of God. To become God, you must see the impermanence of all situations, and the inherent “fixability” that inhabits every moment.


Maybe you know this one. It’s a Bible story that gets told a lot, so I bet you do. It’s the one about Abraham and his son, Isaac. As the story goes, God made a request of Abraham that he sacrifice Isaac. Despite the enormity of the request, Abraham didn’t fall into victim mode; instead, he prepared to sacrifice his only son. Isaac was bound to the altar for sacrifice, but, at the last minute, Isaac’s life was spared.

This story is a metaphorical blueprint for defeating me. Abraham represents a perfect force of giving and sharing. Isaac represents a perfect force of receiving. Did you know that at the time of the binding, Abraham was 137 years old and Isaac was 37? You think a 37-year-old man is going to let his ancient dad cut his throat? Of course not. This story is just a way for God to relay a message without having to spell it out word for word. If God told you outright, you wouldn’t have the chance to earn it for yourself. But I’m spelling it out for you right now: To beat me, you need the force of sharing to bind with the force of receiving.

Abraham’s degree of willingness demonstrates his complete trust in the Creator’s vision for his life. At this level of surrender, there is no separation between the Creator and his servant. At this level, you Become God.


There’s another vital piece of the puzzle here. And that puzzle piece is desire. When a person desires something, he or she will do one of four things:

1. Try to make it happen.

2. Do everything he or she can to make it happen.

3. Make it happen, no matter what.

4. Make it happen, but for someone else.

These are the four levels of desire, and depending on your level of desire, you’ll experience different results. If your desire is great, you won’t rest until you make it happen, right? Period. End of story. You just get the job done. But if you choose to listen to my doubts, you’ll give it a go, but eventually you’ll throw in the proverbial towel, after convincing yourself that you’ve done everything you could.

And for the person who has the type of desire that makes him do something strictly for the sake of another—this person is master of the universe. To put it simply, the person who makes it happen, but for someone else, is Becoming God.

Here’s a word for those with that highest degree of desire: You will be tested, even harder than the rest. You will be asked to forfeit that one thing for which you’ve worked your whole life. For what seems like no reason, you’ll be asked to give it up to make someone else’s dream come true. This is the stuff of great movies, right? It’s also the stuff of a great reality.

Are you prepared? Are you prepared to do anything, any way, any how, to make it happen, to Become God, and put me to rest forever? It’s big stuff, isn’t it? I bet you’re starting to feel the burden of your task. Don’t worry—defeating me might be the fight of your lifetime, but you don’t have to do it all by yourself.

In fact, in order to carry out God’s requests, you need someone on your side, someone who’s got your back, so to speak. It starts with a friend or a spouse, a person you can count on, no matter what. Having this type of relationship in your life is the ultimate weapon against me. I cease to have any influence at all when I’m faced with a partnership of this magnitude.


There once was a king who ruled his kingdom with an iron fist. And he had good reason. The vast number of his subjects were fully and utterly corrupt. They were ruthless scoundrels who were only out to save their own hides.

One day, a man by the name of Nathaniel was caught stealing an apple. Nathaniel was not really a bad person (none of you are), and it wasn’t his nature to steal from anyone. But after living among so many villains for so many years, he simply gave in to me, his selfish instinct, on this one occasion. Unfortunately, it was a bad time to make a mistake.

The king decided to make an example of Nathaniel in order to send a message to the rest of the people. The king sentenced Nathaniel to death. Nathaniel accepted his fate without any fuss. After all, he had no one to blame but himself. No victim consciousness here.

When the king asked Nathaniel if he had any last request, it turned out that he did. Nathaniel asked if he could have three days to settle various affairs in his life. Nathaniel had to pay off some debts, he owed a few personal favors, and he wanted to say good-bye to all of his loved ones. He figured he could tidy it all up in three days.

The king, impressed by Nathaniel’s simple acceptance of his fate and by his sense of responsibility, wanted to accommodate this last request. But there was an obvious problem. “If I grant you this temporary reprieve,” the king said, “I have no assurances that you will ever return to fulfill your sentence.”

Nathaniel understood the king’s dilemma. “I have an idea,” Nathaniel responded. “Suppose I arrange for a good friend to stand in for me until I return. If I am late, you can execute my friend in my place.” The king laughed. “If you can find someone who will take your place, I will grant you your three days. But if you are even one minute late, you can be sure your friend will be hung from the gallows.”

Nathaniel asked his best friend, a shopkeeper by the name of Simon, to stand in his place. Simon had known Nathaniel since they were young children. He loved him like a brother and respected his friend dearly. Simon said he would be honored to go into temporary custody for Nathaniel.

Simon was handcuffed and detained while Nathaniel hurried off to wind up his affairs. “Remember,” the king yelled out, “One minute late and I will hang your best friend.”

One day passed, and then two more and still Nathaniel did not return. The king ordered Simon to the gallows and the hangman’s noose was slipped around Simon’s neck. The hangman tightened it, and a hood was put over Simon’s head.

Just then, a voice was heard screaming far off in the distance. “Stop! Stop! I have returned!” It was Nathaniel. “Please, I beg you,” Nathaniel cried to the king. “Remove the noose. This is my fate, not his.”

But the king replied, “You are an hour late.”

Nathaniel was so out of breath he could hardly talk. “Let me explain, your majesty. My horse became lame. I was forced to run all the way back. That is why I am late. It is I who should die. Not my dear friend.”

As the hangman removed the hood from Simon’s head, Simon began to shout himself. “That is not true. I am the one who should die today. We had an agreement. Besides, I could not stand here and watch you, my best friend, die before my eyes. Nor could I bear living without you. You were late. So, it will be I who will die today.”

Nathaniel’s eyes welled up with tears. “I beg you, your majesty. Do not listen to him. Do not let my best friend die. I could no more live without him than he could live without me. It is I who was originally sentenced to death, not Simon. I beg you to get on with my execution.”

As Simon and Nathaniel continued arguing back and forth, the king was, not surprisingly, taken aback. In a land rampant with hooligans, the king was not accustomed to seeing such acts of generosity and unconditional friendship. Nevertheless, a decision had to be made. Justice had to be meted out according to the law of the land.

“I have reached a final verdict,” the king said. “Neither one of you shall die. For I realize that no matter which one of you dies today, I will still be killing two men. The original sentence called for only one man to die. Thus, I am forced to set you both free.”

Talk about an example of an unshakable friendship, of complete surrender, of doing whatever it takes.... Of zero victim consciousness! There was not a trace of self-interest within the hearts of these two men. They were untouchable! They considered only the welfare of the other, unconditionally, with no strings attached. Both men took full responsibility for their circumstances and were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for each other. By doing so, the two men became as one and were able to remove death from both of their lives. By the way, the king asked to be their friend.

So, by taking full responsibility, by being present with your circumstances, and by being completely there for another person, you become immortal! This makes you one with God, in which case my favorite tool, the ego, no longer has power over you. When you give 100 percent to another person, two literally become one, and there is no longer room for me to work my dark brand of magic.