Connect - Shake Up To Wake Up

Spirit Hacking: Shamanic Keys to Reclaim Your Personal Power, Transform Yourself, and Light Up the World - Shaman Durek 2019

Shake Up To Wake Up

The whole point of embracing the darkness, and stepping into our shadows, is not just to transform ourselves. The point is to transform the world. We heal and we evolve so that we can support our brothers and sisters in doing the same. We empower ourselves, so we can empower others. And that empowerment is what gives us the strength and the courage to speak and to act for those who cannot speak and act for themselves. It’s not like we’re going to get the world giant by being amazing in isolation, all by ourselves. We have a whole planet to lift and shift. And that means we have to connect—not just with ourselves, but also with each other.


It’s crazy to see so many people stepping away from their families like it’s no big deal. Like it’s not going to create any distortions or imbalances in their lives when someone just cuts all ties to their lineage. It’s cuckoo. This disconnect, which I see fragmenting so many families, is a huge issue, especially in spiritual communities, where people are running their love-and-light trips and “can’t deal” with the emotions their family dynamics trigger, because they ruffle their auras, or schiz out their chakras, or whatever.

People need to stay connected to their bloodline. Period. People need to deal with the issues their family triggers, and they need to see them as opportunities to grow, and to evolve their genetic lineage. Our family junkery is no different from our individual junkery—we don’t run away from it. We don’t empower the darkness by fragmenting our fractal lines and avoiding the issues that are needing our love and acceptance to transform. We engage that shit. We shake up to wake up, which means we embrace the family shadow, and we use every last one of its reflections, and its challenges, and its uncomfortable dynamics to grow, and to get lit.

Many of the issues people are dealing with aren’t even about them. We’re so narcissistic. People love to personalize everything. But a lot of what comes up for people in their family dynamics is totally impersonal, and is being triggered so that they can help shift their lineage into a higher and more aligned state of consciousness. When we grow, not only do we evolve ourselves as individuals, but we also evolve our entire family bloodline. You see, you are not here just for you. You are here to be of service to your ancestors—to those who walked before you, and to those who will someday join you, because you all exist in the quantum now, which means your efforts, your love, and your evolution serve the entire fractal line.

A lot of times people have these lingering issues—like, they keep attracting the same relationship pattern over and over again, even though they’ve been loving on it for years. Or they have this low-grade mystery pain in their body that’s pretty much always there, and that they’ve tried a million things for, and that no doctor or healer can seem to figure out, much less heal. That’s bloodline pain. Bloodline pain is held in the RNA, which is where all of our ancestral coding is stored. I see a lot of bloodline pain in my African clients, and in my Middle Eastern clients—in the Muslims, and in the Jews—and in the Native people, and in the cultures and lineages that have been on the planet for a long, long time, and that have deep, deep roots that are grounded in old, old energies, and lots and lots of fractal lines. The most efficient way to change the RNA, and to get relief from these stubborn issues and ailments in our lives, is to connect with our ancestors.

Spirit Hack: Ancestor Altar

I love Día de los Muertos. It’s this wonderful Mexican holiday that coincides with our Halloween. People create these beautiful altars and put out delicious food, and desserts, and drinks for their ancestors as a way to honor them when the veil between realms is thin. And so they all get to share the celebration together. It’s such a beautiful honoring, and a beautiful remembering.

Creating an altar is a great way to open up your energy to your ancestors, and to begin the journey of cultivating a relationship with them. The altar is an invitation you are extending to your ancestors. It’s a way of beckoning them toward you, and inviting them into your life.

Things to include in your ancestor altar:

§ pictures of your ancestors

§ things your ancestors liked

For example, if your grandmother loved the beach, you would place some sand on your altar. If your father loved golf, you would place a golf tee or a golf ball on the altar.

§ an offering bowl

In some cultures, people make offerings of chocolate, or of money, or of spirits to the ancestors. It’s helpful to offer your ancestors things that you are wanting more of in your life. So, if you are wanting abundance, you can offer them coins. Or, if you are wanting more beauty and creativity, you can offer a flower.

§ a candle

Light the candle when you want to connect with your ancestors’ spirits. The more attention you devote to your ancestors, and the more you engage them, the more they will be able to help you in your life.

Note for extenuating ancestor disconnect:

If you don’t have any photographs of your ancestors, don’t sweat it. You can draw pictures, or you can sculpt figures. It doesn’t matter if you’re adopted, or you have no idea who any of your ancestors are, or what they look like. You can make it up.

That Time My Student Connected to His Ancestors

I once had a student from Germany named Hans whose life wasn’t going very well. He kept making bad business deals, and losing money, and bouncing from one failure to the next. He wondered if he was cursed, because nothing seemed to land for him. I could tell that someone in his bloodline had had similar issues, and I knew that he would benefit from their wisdom. I told Hans to build an altar to ancestors so that they could guide him through this issue.

Hans turned an old wooden table into his ancestor altar. He made offerings once a week—sometimes twice—and asked his ancestors for guidance. That’s when his life started to change. He felt protected, and he started making better business decisions. He would go to make a move, and then he would get a feeling, and he would pause, and think to do it differently, and then make a different choice. Suddenly, doors started opening; opportunities started to present themselves. Things turned around for Hans very quickly after that, and—to this day—he makes regular offerings to his ancestors, and always asks for their guidance before making decisions.


Just like the issues coded in our RNA, spirits get passed through the bloodline, too. Spirits are passed down through beliefs. When parents indoctrinate their children with the beliefs that formulate their worldview, they are simultaneously passing the spirits attached to those beliefs to their children.

So, let’s say someone’s great-great-great-great-grandmother had money issues that she didn’t examine or heal while she was alive. The spirit that was attached to those money issues was passed down through the bloodline, through the beliefs she taught her children about money and abundance. Every time she told her children Money doesn’t grow on trees, or Money is the root of all evil, or You have to work hard just to make ends meet, but even then, you’ll still be poor, she was transferring that spirit into their fields of consciousness. And so that spirit keeps getting passed down through the generations, polluting one mind after the next with scarcity, and lack, and limiting beliefs about money, until you have all these fractal lines, and all these familial tributaries where no one pays retail, or turns on the heat, or splurges on dryer sheets or asparagus; and everyone is programmed with the same limiting beliefs that money is hard to come by, and that rich people suck, because their great-great-great-great-grandmother’s scarcity spirit is working through all of them.

It’s very efficient the way the darkness works—accessing the bloodline and holding entire ancestral lineages hostage to limitation. Until an outlier comes along. Until that one day, several generations down the line, when a man is reprimanding his son for leaving the light on in the kitchen, and the man is recycling the same stories that have been passed down through his lineage for centuries—that money doesn’t grow on trees, and that money is hard to come by—but, instead of signing on to the indoctrination that’s been holding his family back for centuries, the kid rebels against the bloodline curse, and rebels against the spirit of scarcity, and pushes back, and says: “No. I’m not signing on to that story. Your beliefs about money being scarce, and evil, and hard to come by are your beliefs, not mine. And those beliefs are a prison that have kept this family playing small for long enough. I’m choosing a different story, and different beliefs. So, yeah, money actually does come to me easily, and often.”

In that moment, that kid isn’t defying just his father; he is also facing off with that bloodline spirit that is trying to pull him into that field of limitation and bondage, the same way it’s pulled his entire ancestral lineage into that field of limitation and bondage for years, and years, and years. When that kid pushes back on that spirit, and on that story, and that programming, and he claims his sovereignty, that kid heals his entire fractal line. That kid has given his whole lineage their freedom by rebelling against that bloodline spirit, and rebelling against all the toxic, limiting beliefs that came along with it, which opens up new doors and pathways for all of them.

My Fractal Line

My great-grandmother Mamal is my closest guide in the spirit world. She’s the one who pulled me back from the dead, and she is always with me. Always. Whenever I go see a psychic, the first thing they all say is that there’s this powerful, older woman in the form of a white stork sitting on top of my head.

“Yup.” I laugh, because it always cracks me up. “That’s my great-grandmother.”

Even though I never met Mamal in the material realm because she died before I was born, I talk to my great-grandmother pretty much every day. She first came to me when I was five, and told me I was going to be a powerful shaman.

As I mentioned earlier, Mamal was a great medicine woman in Ghana. She fled Africa in the early 1800s when her tribe was invaded by the Dutch, and her family was put into the slave camps. Mamal escaped by boat, as a stowaway, and ended up in Haiti, where she studied healing and shamanism with the Haitian people. From Haiti, she landed in New Orleans, where she fell in love, got married, and had children, one being my grandmother. My grandmother married a Native American Blackfoot Indian; and together, they had my father.

My grandpa Leon flat out rejected shamanism. He was a God-fearing Seventh Day Adventist who judged the shamanic side of my family as evil, because the spirit that religion had planted in him was all about being perfect with some hateful, punishing God. When the ancestors started showing up in my father’s life, and pulling him toward shamanism, my grandfather wasn’t having it. And so my grandfather beat my father, and punished my father, and forbade my father from studying shamanism and exploring his roots. That was how my grandfather passed that bloodline spirit down to my father, and in doing so, took away all of my father’s power.

When it was my time, and the ancestors came to me, and my father tried to keep me from pursuing my shamanic calling, and tried to pass that spirit onto me, I rebelled. I rebelled big-time—not just because I knew that being a shaman was my truth, but also because there was no way I was going to let the darkness brainwash a third generation of my bloodline with religion and snuff out everything my grandmother and my family’s tribe in Africa had worked so hard to build and to root into our lineage.

And, you know what? The moment I stood up to my father, and I rebelled against that bloodline spirit that was trying to come through him, was the moment when my father started to come into his own power. For the first time in his whole life. Because I defied that spirit, I set my fractal line free.


It’s scary to rebel against your family programming, and to defy your parents, and to stand alone in your truth. Being the black sheep in my family exacerbated what was already there—a lot of conflict, and a lot of violence, and a lot of abuse. I loved my father, and I loved my stepmother, and I loved my grandparents, but I don’t forgive them. I don’t forgive my father for the horrible things he did, and I don’t forgive my stepmom for the horrible things she did, and I don’t forgive my grandparents for the horrible things they did. I accept what they did. I accept that they did those horrible things to me. And that acceptance is what allows me—and all of us—to be free.

Forgiveness implies that what my family did to me was wrong, or bad, which blocks me from acknowledging that they had their own lessons to learn from those experiences, and blocks all of us from being able to grow from the experiences we shared.

I had a client who was raised by a very abusive, alcoholic mother tell me that she forgave her mother for all the awful things she did to her.

“No, you didn’t,” I said.

At which point, my client doubled down on her nonsense and insisted that yes, she did forgive her mother, because she went through this whole forgiveness process, and wrote down all her resentments, and burned them during a full moon ritual on the solstice.

And I said, “Honey, you didn’t forgive your mother, and you don’t forgive your mother. And the more you keep telling this story that you do, the longer you’re keeping you and your mother in limbo, and dragging out the suffering for both of you. That fact that you’re announcing that you forgave your mother just means you haven’t let it go.”

My client thought about it for a minute, then burst into tears.

“You’re right,” she said. “I can’t let it go.”

People hurt each other, and people do terrible things. That’s how life goes. But this idea that forgiveness is the magical key to our healing is bullshit. Forgiveness binds us, and forgiveness limits us, and forgiveness holds us back. Forgiveness is the worst. The moment we invoke the energy of forgiveness, we activate duality, and we activate hierarchy. Forgiveness is a blame construct that implies that someone is right, and that someone else is wrong, which instantly creates separation, and instantly ensnares both people in a quantum entanglement that traps them in the energy field of the initial conflict. Forgiveness is purgatory, and forgiveness warps a lot of shit in a lot of ways.

So what if my client went through the motions of forgiveness? Why would she forgive her mom for what she did, anyway? Forgiveness is a mental trap that keeps us stuck in energetic limbo. It’s pointless. But if my client could accept what her mother did, then they would both be free. Acceptance sets us free while allowing us to stay engaged, because when we accept, we are relating in the realms of truth. We are not denying, and we are not pretending, and we are not guilting, and we are not blaming, and we are not victimizing, and we are not judging. We are simply acknowledging. This happened. This is an energy or an experience that we shared, and that had an impact on everyone involved, and what they choose to do with those energies and those lessons moving forward is up to them.

It’s way more honest and effective than telling someone: “I forgive you.” No, thank you. I’d really rather you didn’t. Forgiveness is purgatory. Forgiveness is a Chinese finger trap.


Loneliness and isolation are contributing to epidemic bouts of depression, opioid addiction, and suicide in America. While it’s true that the system is doing its part to separate humans, another reason people are feeling so alone, and so forsaken, is because they have no connection to their ancestors. It’s not bad enough that people are walking away from their own living, breathing mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and kids because they don’t want to deal with the challenges their families trigger, but that people also aren’t connecting with their entire ancestral lines, like, on any level whatsoever—well, it’s no wonder they’re freaking out.

Throughout the ages, everyone was connected to their ancestors. It wasn’t until we rolled into the industrial revolution that humans up and ditched their connection to their ancestors. Rationalism gave way to this ridiculous notion that when people die, they are gone forever, which is complete and utter nonsense. Death doesn’t mean we cease to exist. Death just means we cease to exist in this biological space suit, in this dimensional plane of reality. But because we have been programmed to believe that death is some sort of final nothingness, people just assume that their ancestors disappeared altogether and have gone about forgetting them; and let me tell you, humans took a wrong turn when we stopped trusting that our ancestors are still with us.

It is extremely arrogant to walk through life thinking that it’s all about us, and that we exist all on our own, of our accord—like we were hatched from some isolated pod floating in a vacuum of narcissism that has us completely oblivious to the fact that we wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for every grandparent who came before us, and had kids, and raised those kids, and kept those kids alive so that we could be here now. It is so disrespectful not to acknowledge where we came from.


Without a solid connection to our ancestors, we cannot connect with our roots, or with our family history, which puts us in a very precarious position here on planet Earth. Our ancestors are great allies when it comes to navigating the complexities of incarnation, especially as it relates to the Blackout, because—much like the shadow—our ancestors know everything about us. They know what kind of person is going to be best for us to partner up with in our love life. They know which opportunities are going to work out, and which ones are going to fall flat. They’re plugged way in.

Our ancestors walked Earth and lived their own lives in their own time. When they died, they learned powerful lessons about the choices they made. Now that they are on the other side, they have a broader perspective. They can see the bigger picture. When we create a bridge to our ancestors, and we invite them to participate in our lives, they support us, and they protect us. They let us know when something is not aligned, or when something is not in our best interests.

But it’s not just about what our ancestors can do for us; it’s also about what we can do for them. We all have a responsibility to our lineage. The reason our ancestors endured, and the reason our ancestors survived, and the reason our ancestors propagated was not so that their great-great-great-great-grandchildren could enjoy our own isolated existences for our own hedonistic pleasure, but so that we could make things better—for ourselves, and for each other, and for our lineage.

Spirit Hack: Ancestor Bridge

The easiest way to cultivate a relationship with your ancestors is to build a bridge between your world and theirs. When you build a bridge to your ancestors, you are opening up a connection between you and your bloodline, and you are giving your ancestors full-spectrum access to you, so that they can advise you with all the details and aspects of your life in mind.

Having a bridge that connects you with your ancestors allows them to send you healing energies, and words of wisdom, and synchronicities, and what have you. Basically, the ancestor bridge is you saying: Hey, ancestors. I’m all in. Let’s level-up, and cocreate amazingness together.

It’s best to sit in front of your ancestor altar when you are building your ancestor bridge, because your ancestor altar is your focal point of ancestral mojo. But if you haven’t created an altar to your ancestors yet, don’t sweat it. Your ancestors can hear you wherever you are.

§ Visualize a golden light emanating from your heart and extending out beyond your body, and beyond this realm, and into the spirit world.

§ As you run that energy from your heart, and into the spirit world, say out loud: “Ancestors, I am opening up this bridge as a sacred portal between us. I welcome your wisdom, and your guidance, and your love, as well as any requests you have of me. I honor our connection, and I am so excited to share this journey with you.”

Now that you’ve created your ancestor bridge, here’s how you put it to use:

§ Take a few deep breaths, and say: “Ancestors, send a sensation through my body, so that I can feel it.”

§ Pay attention to any sensations in your body, such as a heat, or chills, or pressure, or itchiness. When you feel it, say “I feel ____________, ancestors. Increase my receptivity even more.”

§ Again, notice what you feel. Then say: “I feel ____________, ancestors. Increase my receptivity even more.”

§ Repeat this process five times, total.

§ Keep practicing this technique by asking your ancestors for signs. Ask them to bring a color into your mind that you can see, or to bring a word into your thoughts that you can hear or read.

Every time you hear, feel, or see something, tell your ancestors—out loud—what you are perceiving, and then ask them to increase your receptivity even more.

This spirit hack teaches you how to be present with your ancestors. The more you use this technique, the stronger your connection with your ancestors will be, and the more access you will have to them.


I used to live in the upper unit of a fourplex in LA. My downstairs neighbor hated my drumming, hated my singing, hated my friends, and hated me. Though, let’s be clear, people don’t actually hate others for the reasons they think they do. People hate others because they can’t control them to act in ways that would make them feel safe, based on what they already know and on how they’ve been programmed. It’s a control thing. Anyway, this neighbor who thought he hated me hired a Moroccan shawafa to put a curse on me. Except, she couldn’t. It got back to me that the Moroccan woman passed out cold during the ritual, and that when she came to, my ancestors wouldn’t let her complete the spell. Her powers were useless in the face of all my ancestral protection.

Ancestral supervision isn’t a given. It doesn’t work like that. Unless we initiate a connection with our ancestors, and cultivate a connection with our ancestors, we’re on our own. And that disconnect has a lot of people feeling like fish out of water wherever they are, because a part of them is always on alert for something bad happening. It’s very disorienting when we are not operating with ancestral supervision. P.S. When I use the word “supervision,” I don’t mean the matrix’s hierarchical manipulation of the word. I mean the OG Latin version; I mean what the word actually means, as in super-vision, as in many multidimensional eyes watching your back. I have that. I travel all over the world, and I always feel at ease, because I know my ancestors are always guiding me.

That Time My Ancestors Saved My and My Friends’ Lives

When I was in Tel Aviv, my friends and I used to have lunch at the same little coffee shop on Allenby Street every afternoon. One day my ancestors sent me a bunch of signs indicating that we shouldn’t go there.

First off, my friend knocked a glass off the counter on our way out of the house. It shattered all over the floor. That was my first inclination that there was a chink in our plan.

“Watch out!” said a workman as I passed a little too close to a ladder leaning up against a store wall.

As we rounded the corner that took us to Allenby Street, I noticed a couple arguing loudly on the sidewalk. A minute later, I reached for the door of the café, and I heard a voice in my head say, very clearly: “You should find a different place to eat, now.”

I told my friends that we needed to go to another restaurant. It took some convincing, but they finally acquiesced. As we were ordering our food, we heard an explosion. A suicide bomber had blown up our little café on Allenby Street. That was a pivotal moment for me. That was when I really got how important it is for me to listen—I mean, like really got it, you know?


Codependence creates a lot of suffering in our relationships. People put all this pressure on their family members, and all this pressure on other people in their lives to fulfill the emotional needs they haven’t learned how to give themselves.

A woman came to one of my workshops and asked me for advice on getting over her homesickness, as though homesickness is a thing, which it isn’t. I explained to the woman that her issue had nothing to do with homesickness. Her issue was her choice to identify her feelings as “homesickness,” which was based on the false belief that her family was the source of her balance, and her sustenance, and her nurturing, and her being grounded, and that the only way for her to experience these energies was to be at home with them. Her issue wasn’t geography. Her issue was that she wasn’t full of herself, meaning that she wasn’t taking responsibility for giving these energies to herself. She was projecting that responsibility onto her family, thereby putting the burden of fulfillment onto their shoulders.

When we don’t fill ourselves up with the sustenance we crave, we become vacuous energetic shells perpetually looking for someone else to fill us up. It’s a precarious setup, because—like I always tell my clients—if you are not full of yourself, then someone else is going to come along and fill you up with a bunch of their own bullshit. And when you’re full of that, that’s where the discord comes in.


Because human beings are driven by our need to be liked, and by our need to belong, a lot of our relationship dynamics are marked by discord. Like, a lot. We generate discord when we allow ourselves to connect with energies that are not in alignment with our highest truth, or our highest happiness, or our highest well-being, or our highest harmony. Basically, when we compromise what is best for us, and what is resonant with us, to just go with the flow, or to be part of the in crowd, or to people-please, or to belong, we are generating discord.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say you’re at a dinner party with friends, and the conversation is predominantly negative—lots of judging, and gossiping, and complaining, and that sort of thing. You feel yourself contracting and bristling in the face of all the negativity being exchanged, but you do nothing to redirect the conversation toward a more positive trajectory. That conversation is generating discord, and when you will leave that conversation you will be in a state of discord. It doesn’t matter whether you chimed in with your own complaints, or your own judgments, or not. You still immersed yourself in those vibrations, and you enabled those vibrations, and because those vibrations are not resonant with your highest truth, harmony, or well-being, or your greater knowingness, now you are in discord.

This type of discord is an expression of the larger issue of denial, which we are dealing with on the planet as a collective. We can no longer pretend that we don’t know what we know; which means we can no longer pretend that we don’t know that our actions have consequences. As quantum creators, we must take responsibility for the input we are allowing into our vessels, and our energetic fields, and into the world at large, just as we must take responsibility for shifting and lifting that input, and for evolving our interactions and our social constructs, as well as for evolving ourselves and the world.

It would be one thing if we lived in a singular-dimensional construct/vacuum, where discord was simply a feeling state or frequency with no implications or offshoots to deal with. But that’s not how quantum reality works. Discord opens the door to more discord, and to more darkness, because discord is a multidimensional magnet for underworld parasites.


Underworld parasites are basically spirit bugs whose purpose is to keep the darkness dark. They gain access to our systems through discord, where they feed off our negativity to empower the darkness, and to attract more discord into our lives, so they can empower the darkness some more, and attract even more discord into our lives. Wash, rinse, repeat. Once they’ve embedded themselves in our beings, the underworld parasites seize control of our minds, where they hijack the algorithms of our thoughts, and manipulate us into making misaligned choices to keep us in a perpetual state of imbalance.

Underworld parasites wreak havoc on our lives by blocking us from opportunities we are aligned with, and by linking us with dysfunctional people, energies, and situations that are a vibrational match for the discord that attracted the spirit bugs in the first place. Underworld parasites attract other people to us who are also in discord, so that—together—we will create exponentially more discord, to keep the underworld alive and kicking. The longer we stay in discord, the more access we give the underworld parasites to our being, which means the more damage they do and the harder the whole mess is to correct.

It’s just all the more reason to stay aligned, and to stay in accord. That means steering clear of the kinds of disruptions that create discord, like complaining, criticizing, gossiping, shit-talking, showing off, bragging, degrading, disparaging, etc. If our words are not lifting and shifting, then we need to look at the junkery inside us that is inspiring us to speak to hurt, and to speak to divide; and we need to examine the insecurity that it’s attached to. But what we definitely do not want to do is to spread those discordant vibrations throughout the quantum field by engaging in low-vibe exchanges just to pass the time.

Spirit Hack: Shamanic Harmonic Ninja Sorcery

Shamanic harmonic ninja sorcery is a great way to take responsibility for your environment, and to shift low-frequency conversations into vibrational alignment, and to protect your field from discord and underworld parasites. Because, ew.

There are no hard-and-fast rules to utilizing shamanic harmonic ninja sorcery to combat discord, but here’s the basic gist: when you find yourself in a conversation marked by complaining or negativity, you want to redirect the conversation onto a more resonant trajectory as quickly as you can.

First, you intercept the dissonant vibrations by acknowledging what the person is saying. So, you would say something like: “I hear everything that you’re saying,” because you don’t want to dismiss the person or their perspective entirely, you just want to help guide them toward a more harmonious expression.

Then, you ninja the conversation onto a more positive path by inviting whoever was doing the complaining to see the situation from a different angle.

So, you would ask things like:

§ “What is working for you about the situation?”

§ “What is the situation teaching you about yourself?”

§ “How will you handle the situation differently next time?”

Or, if you find yourself with people who are gossiping, or putting other people down, you can steer the conversation onto a more aligned trajectory by offering a positive reframe on the person or the situation. Or, you could talk about a time in your own life when you were navigating something similar to whatever your friends are complaining about, and share about what it taught you, or share about what in your life was informing it, so as to help the people you’re with expand their understanding of the situation.

When we are using shamanic harmonic ninja sorcery, we are playfully guiding others to expand their perspective, and to tap into a more positive, coherent frequency. The purpose is not to shame, or to make anyone else wrong. The purpose is to raise the collective vibration, and to create a frequency of harmony and a field of accord in which everyone is safe to connect, and share, and enjoy, without attracting extradimensional pathogens into their fields.


So many people want to find a partner to share their life with, but they get really hung up on all these details, like what color their eyes are, or how tall they are, or whether they meditate, or eat gluten, or use fluoridated toothpaste, or call their mother, or own their own home, or whatever. That’s all fine, you could meet someone who fits every requirement on your vision board—you guys do CrossFit together, it’s great that you’re both vegan, and you both have rescue dogs, and you both love the Beatles—but unless your signatures are aligned, that relationship is going to be discordant.

When people’s signatures are aligned, it’s easy for them to be together. They move at the same pace, and in the same flow. They feel uplifted in each other’s company, and their relating is always smooth. These relationships help keep us in harmony, and these relationships help keep us in accord.

Then there are those people who drain us, and stress us out, and rub us the wrong way, and leave us feeling drained, or frazzled, or off—not because of anything they say or do, but because of the frequencies they generate. This is what happens when our signatures are misaligned.

A lot of relationship friction is a result of misaligned signatures. It’s not that anyone is doing anything wrong, or that anyone is behaving in such a way that needs correcting. The discord is happening on much subtler and more fundamental energetic levels, which means that simple behavioral adjustments aren’t going to shift them. We’re not meant to be in relationship with everyone.


A lot of people would rather be in discordant relationships with people who drain them and treat them badly than be alone. People are terrified of being alone because people don’t want to face their shit. They would much rather keep themselves preoccupied with relationship drama, and relationship distraction, than be with themselves. Because if people were willing to be with themselves, they would start to see where they were getting in their own way, and where they’re dropping the ball, and where they are not being honest; and then they would have to take responsibility for these things; and then they would have to make different choices and adjust their lifestyle. And that’s inconvenient, and that’s uncomfortable; so people avoid it. This is why people choose to stay in discordant relationships, and muck up their lives with parasitic energies and all the rest of it. These people think, Well sure, my partner ignores me, and treats me like a child. And yes, our relationship is painful, and tumultuous, and disempowering, but at least I’m not alone.

Being alone is stepping into the unknown. When we avoid taking that journey inside ourselves, we become fragmented, and we become distorted. When we can’t be alone with ourselves, it’s like being in a big room where someone’s shoved all the things they don’t want to deal with under the rug. So, if you want to get something from the other side of the room, you can’t just walk in a straight line across the shortest path to get to it. You have step over all these lumpy things that are poking out from under the rug. You have to maneuver around these things, which catch on the hem of your pants, and trip you, all because you haven’t put just a bunch of stuff under your rug; you’ve also created actual obstacles for yourself, inside yourself.

When we connect with others to avoid being alone, we are not able to connect authentically, from a place of wholeness. We are just looking for some walking, talking Spackle to fill the holes in our consciousness, and to fill that gaping void where we’re holding on to pain and belief structures that we could actually heal and move on from, if we would just choose to be present with ourselves, and to examine the parts that hurt, and that scare us, and then fill them up with our own love and acceptance of our own damn selves.

Your autonomy is a necessary function of your development as a human being. One of the biggest reasons why relationships fail is because as soon as people get into a relationship, they ditch their autonomy, but that’s when they actually need to be doubling down on it. To have a relationship that works—meaning that it’s healthy, and it’s communicative, and it endures, while serving the highest well-being and interests of both partners—we must be independent, and we must be autonomous. It’s not your partner’s responsibility to convince you that you’re beautiful, or to rub your shoulders after work, or to make you happy. No one can make another person happy. Happiness doesn’t come from other people. Happiness comes from ourselves. This is why it’s so important to be what I call relationship independent, where you are the one filling your own vessel, and you are the one taking responsibility for your own happiness. When we rely on others to fulfill our needs for us, we create expectations. It’s all well and good if you want to distort the shit out of your relationship, and spend all your time fighting, and arguing, and disappointing each other, and being miserable. But if you want to stay on the lit train and live a happy, fulfilled, poprocks, amazing life, you better leave those expectations at the door, babe.


We must learn to be self-sustaining—not just for our own healing and our own well-being, but also out of respect for our loved ones, and the relationships we share with them. When we walk around un-whole, looking for others to fulfill our emotional needs, and to fill our voids, and the cracks in our consciousness, our relationships become discordant, because they are not free.

We betray our authenticity when we sign on to discordant relationship dynamics, and when we sign on to codependent relationship dynamics. When we are not truly in alignment with the vibrational frequency of that relationship, we must adjust ourselves to make it seem like the relationship fits. We contort ourselves into emotional, psychological, and spiritual knots to make the relationship “work.” When we change or we compromise who we are to trick the person we are with into loving us, we are eating what I call compromised pie. And, let me tell you, compromised pie tastes like shit.

Back When I Ate Compromised Pie

Because I was abused as a child, and because I was bullied as a child, I attracted a very abusive, very tumultuous relationship as an adult. Even though it was extremely painful, and it was extremely volatile, I stayed in that relationship for several years. The reason I stayed in that relationship for so long was because I was so focused on giving to my partner, and on helping my partner, and on pleasing my partner, that I completely lost sight of myself, and I couldn’t see how much I was compromising my truth to stay in this abusive dynamic.

We used to fight, like, all the time. And I would get so furious with him for taking advantage of me, and for not appreciating all the things I did for him, and all the things I sacrificed for him. I would scream at him for constantly taking, taking, taking from me, but I wasn’t acknowledging that I was the one who was doing all the giving, giving, giving. The truth is that I had no right to be yelling at him, or complaining about him, because I was just as responsible for our toxic dynamic as he was. The only person I could rightly complain about was me, because I was the one who compromised myself to get love, and I was the one who compromised my truth to stay in that relationship, and I was the one who allowed myself to be treated that way.

That relationship was so valuable because it taught me that it’s not anyone else’s responsibility to acknowledge me, or to praise me for being kind, or generous, or powerful, or what have you. It taught me that it’s my responsibility to fill my needs, and that I can choose to do, or say, or give whatever I want, but that I have no right to get upset if someone doesn’t respond to those gestures the way I want them to. That expectation shit will kick you in the ass every time. Mostly, that relationship showed me how inauthentic I was being, and it taught me to stop eating compromised pie. It taught me that I don’t need to shape-shift myself into anything different than what I already am to be someone who someone else would want to love, and that all I need to do to be someone who someone else would want to love is to just be comfortable being me.


You would be shocked to know how many people I work with as a shaman who have blockages in their sexual energy. It’s basically an epidemic, and it’s a huge problem, because blockages in our sexual energy create blockages in our lives.

Sexual energy is expression energy. That’s all that sex is. Sex is expression through communion, and connection, and communication with another human being through the body. Sex is an opportunity for humans to experience pleasure. Pleasure is an extremely powerful energy. Pleasure awakens very healthy, very nourishing energies and feelings inside us. Pleasure allows us to feel safe and secure. Pleasure allows us to feel comfortable with who we are, which allows us to communicate more freely, and more efficiently, and more effectively. When we are comfortable in our sexuality, and in our sensuality, and in our intimacy, we are more easily able to connect with others. We are able to open up new gateways of perception, because we are not afraid. Sex connects us to our inner sanctity, and our inner well-being, as well as to our youth and our vitality. Sex is poprocks.

When we block our ability to communicate pleasure, and ecstasy, and bliss through our body, we shut down our sensitivity, and we shut down our sensuality, and we shut down our sensorium. We cut off our ability to sense and to feel, and we become numb to the world, and to other people. When we shut down our sexual energy, we block ourselves from attracting the kinds of experiences that would bring joy, and pleasure, and ecstasy into our lives. We also block our receptivity channels, which translates into financial issues and scarcity consciousness. Sexual blocks are a big deal, because they create a lot of havoc in a lot of areas of our lives.


The matrix uses religion to program humans to believe that sex is sinful, and that sex is dirty. The program triggers guilt and shame, which has us feeling like we should be punished anytime we have sex. And so we self-flagellate mentally, and emotionally, and spiritually, as well as physically, which is how we manifest disease.

When I was a kid, my stepmother caught me masturbating in my room. She totally freaked out. She grabbed a pair of scissors, dragged me out into the hallway, made me pull out what she called my “ding-a-ling,” wedged it between the blades, and hissed: “If I ever catch you doing that again, I’m going to cut it off.”

To this day, I remember feeling the coldness of those sharp blades against my skin, and the pressure of that metal as she tightened the scissors to make her point. I remember feeling terrified that my stepmother was going to cut off my penis. But for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong. I mean, I knew my stepmom was Catholic, and that she thought sex was dirty, and bad, and wrong, but it didn’t make sense, considering that I knew she and my dad kept an extensive collection of Swedish erotica tapes hidden in their armoire. It didn’t add up. If sex was so bad, and if sex was so wrong, then why were she and my dad watching these videos of people doing it in all these weird ways?

This is the contradiction that repression creates. It’s very confusing, especially for kids whose parents are telling them not to be sexual, and that sex is a sin, but then they’re all doing all sorts of weird, twisted shit, and hiding it, and lying about it. The matrix uses repression to keep humans blocked sexually. The repression field is what triggers humans to operate in extremes. That’s why we have all these people pendulating into these really out-there, perverted forms of sexual expression. Because they have so many blocks from so much disruptive programming, they cannot allow themselves to simply enjoy the beautiful feelings, and the connection with another soul on a physical and spiritual level. It’s really sad, because our nature as human beings is to express, and to communicate. That’s what every being in the world does—every animal, every insect, every flower, every tree—they all express themselves fully and completely, without rules and limitations, for that is the natural way.


Sexual repression has given way to conquest culture, wherein men base their value, their self-worth, their masculinity, and their reputations on how many chicks they’ve banged. This includes body-hopping. Body-hopping is when a guy leaps from one minirelationship to the next, with each one lasting about as long as the dopamine high. The second those hormones wear off, and the excitement fades, and the man is faced with an actual person with fears, and flaws, and human emotions, and blackheads, it’s Sayonara, baby! and off they go to swipe their way to their next conquest.

Then there’s the boys’ club that men never seem to outgrow, where you have guys bragging about fucking the most women, and about fucking the hottest women, and about all the depraved ways they violated all these women. It’s all being driven by the same insecurity that drives every man, which is: Is my dick big enough? Is my Benz fly enough? Do women want to fuck me?

And what these men need to realize is that no number of women, and no perfect-ten supermodel, is ever going to be able to silence the noise of all that self-hatred, and all that self-doubt, if they don’t man up and develop the courage to not distract themselves with the chase, and with the swiping, and with the ego boosts, and with the dopamine rushes, and to instead go inside and fill themselves up with themselves.


Given the extent to which men are programmed to suppress their feminine and are deprived of feminine energetics, it’s no wonder men aren’t relating to women from a healthy place. It certainly doesn’t help that men are deprived of affection in this culture, and that men are dissuaded from expressing emotion in this culture. Men are not given the same freedoms as women are to emote and to be forthright with their feelings.

“If you want to be emotional,” my father used to say to me, “I’ll give you something to be emotional about.”

That was about as much emotional intelligence training as I got in my house growing up.

The system programs us to believe that emotions are a sign of weakness, especially in men, who are not only discouraged from emoting, but who are also discouraged from expressing affection. Men who exchange affection with other men are considered effeminate, and are accused of being faggots, and fairies, and flamers, and homos, and gay. The affection deprivation starts in the family, where when a boy reaches a certain age, his father stops being affectionate with him, if he ever was in the first place. This means that most boys grow up receiving affection only from their mothers. As adults, men get affection only when they are in a relationship, and then, only when they have sex, and when they have kids—for the first few years, anyway. This has men operating from elevated levels of testosterone because they aren’t receiving any kind of touch or connection that would help balance them out. This has men seeking to fill their emotional needs through competition, and being right, and picking fights, and by proving how smart they are, and doing things to make their women clap for them.

It’s just another one of the many blocks and distortions that keep men and women perpetually seeking outside of themselves for validation, which—as we’ve already established—is a zero-sum game that’s getting us nowhere. The bottom line is that men and women are not communicating correctly with each other, and if we are going to survive the Blackout, this disconnect must be healed.


But men are not the only ones who are disconnected from their feminine energy. Plenty of women are unconsciously posturing as men, and trying to pass themselves off as one of the guys. But women are not, in fact, any of the guys. Women are women; and men and women are very different. They are different biologically, they are different chemically, they are different hormonally, they are different psychologically, they are different neurologically, and they are different spiritually. And it’s really important for humans to acknowledge these differences, and to start getting real about it.

One of the great downsides of the feminist movement was that it convinced women that the best way for them to survive in this world is to act like men. So now we have all these smart, capable women who are operating the way they think men operate, because they want to be liked, and they want to be seen, and they want to be heard, and they want to be valued, and they are programmed to believe that the only way they can experience any of these things is to take on a masculine identity, which is false. Women’s greatest power, and women’s greatest impact, and women’s greatest influence, lie in their femininity. Women lose themselves when they buy into this dissociative masculine role-playing, which only creates blocks for them while shutting down their powers and abilities, and throwing the collective gender balance into chaos.


One last word on engaging sexually, because it’s important.

When we have a lot of casual sex, and we have a lot of disconnected sex, we attract underworld entities called sexual succubi. The sexual succubus is a spirit that attaches to a person’s energetic field with these suction-like appendages, and that uses them as a feeding vessel by way of all the darkness and energetic distortions they take into their being through misaligned sexual encounters. These succubi attach to the sexual glands while infecting the mind of the host with guilt and shame, and attracting darkness in our lower chakras, where it accumulates, thereby generating more guilt and more shame with every sexual act. These emotions, which are tools of the darkness, signal the subconscious mind to manifest disease and illness, because we feel like we should be punished.

The sexual succubus is the origin point for all sexually transmitted disease. The only reason sexual pathogens even exist on this planet is because religion teaches us that God punishes sinners, which programs people to believe that (a) God punishes; and that (b) it’s actually possible for us to do something that would make us deserving of punishment—as though God is anything but perpetual, constant, ever-flowing, never-ceasing, infinite unconditional love and acceptance for each and every one of us for every single second of every single day for all eternity. Needless to say, these suppositions are false, and it is high time that we freed ourselves from their detriment once and for all.

Spirit Hack: Second Chakra Scrub

Sexual succubi are super common, what with the ubiquity of dating apps and hook-up culture, and humans’ generalized cluelessness about the energetic implications of their unconscious sexual interactions. Because these underworld creatures are the source of so much discord, and so much destructive behavior, and because they are the energetic impetus for physical disease, it is very important to clear your biological space suit of any sexual succubi, or underworld spirits, on the regular.

For this spirit hack, you’re going to need a smooth magnetic stone—like hematite, or pyrite, or lodestone. Make sure it’s smooth, and preferably, polished. Also, some massage oil.

§ Situate yourself so that you are lying down comfortably on your back, and apply a small amount of massage oil onto your pelvic/lower stomach area.

§ After you’ve covered the area with the massage oil, take your magnetic stone and rub it over your lower belly in gentle, even, counterclockwise circles until you feel notably lighter, and calmer, and at peace.

This process magnetically draws out the parasites, and the pathogens, and the energetic invaders, as well as the imprints they leave in the body, and in the energetic field. It can also bring tough emotions to the surface, so be very gentle with yourself as you engage this process.


If we are to come into alignment with our sexual energy, and allow it to flow, unhampered by programs, pathogens, and toxicity, we must be conscious in our sexual engaging, and we must be heart-centered in our sexual engaging. It doesn’t matter if it’s a fling, or a one-night stand, or a hook-up, our every sexual engaging must be devotional. Everything should be done with devotion—every kiss, every caress, every merging, all of it.

When you kiss your lover, you should kiss with devotion, as though you were kissing yourself. How do you want to be kissed by your beloved? That is how you kiss. How do you want to be touched by your beloved? That is how you touch. You honor your every lover as your beloved, just as you honor yourself as your beloved, and just as you honor Spirit as your beloved. When we love like this, we create a vibrational field so vast, and so powerful, that no sexual succubus can penetrate it. Plus, we get to experience that poprocks, giant sexual energy that makes this Earth realm so fun.